In my post, Positively Christian, I did mention that I'll be sharing some techniques I use to stay positive, so this will be my first post in a series. Please understand that I don't claim to be an expert, and what I am about to share with you are mostly what I have learned from various books as well. However, I have put what I'm writing into practice, and I find them to be working. So here's the first and probably the most important technique to staying positive – Taking responsibility.
In his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
, Stephen Covey simply defines responsibility as “response-ability” - the ability to choose your response. And it really does make sense, since you can give exactly the same thing to two persons and expect two very different responses. Well, even God can give the exact same situation to two people and get completely different responses. The thing is, we don't have direct control over outside factors and most certainly other people, but what we can control is ourselves and the way we respond to them.
, Stephen Covey simply defines responsibility as “response-ability” - the ability to choose your response. And it really does make sense, since you can give exactly the same thing to two persons and expect two very different responses. Well, even God can give the exact same situation to two people and get completely different responses. The thing is, we don't have direct control over outside factors and most certainly other people, but what we can control is ourselves and the way we respond to them.We can choose to either be PROACTIVE or REACTIVE.
Proactive people do not let outside factors such as weather, environment or crowd control how they feel or perform. They recognize their responsibility for their own behavior, and do not allow the situation to control them. They in turn, take control of the situation.
It is pretty much like how we deal with the law of gravity. There's nothing you can do to change it, but we can either utilize gravity to build momentum or let it pull us down. Perhaps one of the most proactive people I've come across with is Nick Vujicic, a young man who was born without limbs but did not allow his situation to stop him from enjoying life and reaching out to inspire others. I wrote about him on an older post, and you may read more about him here.
Reactive people on the other hand, can easily be affected by what's going on around them. These people usually have the habit of blaming almost anything or anyone for their situation except themselves, and sadly, most of us are conditioned this way. We let go of the power to be responsible for our own lives and hand it over to factors that we can't control.
On this note, I remember a friend of mine who went as far as responding to me by saying that it's not really her but I bring out the her worst, which I've gotten to reflect and laugh about later because of the contrasting ideas... The fact that I was able to bring out something means that it has always been there, and sadly, she is like that.
Drop the EXCUSES.
It's almost always easier to blame something or someone for anything that we don't like in our lives, rather than facing the fact that we have a part in everything. In fact, try googling insurance excuses and have a laugh at what you'd find. The following three are my favorites...
- "The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."
- "As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident."
- "I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way."
Notice how these guys came up with ridiculous claims just to get out of liability? We are like them most of the time. When feeling bad, it's because someone else made us do so but we still keep thinking about that person, when late, it's because of the traffic instead of us not leaving on time, when tempted, we always put the blame on the devil instead of admitting our own evil desires (James 1:14), and when we suffer, we claim that it is God's will for us to be in that position when it was us who disobeyed and brought about that suffering in the first place (valuable insight from Pastor Perlita).
Any problem can only be solved by first knowing that there is a problem, and in responding, you cannot change the way you respond unless you first accept your involvement in everything. Remember, no one or nothing can make you feel less than who you are without your consent.
“All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless how much you blame him, it will not change you.” - Wayne Dyer
God bless!
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| Image from thefoundationstone.org |
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